The fundamental horror film components are current: We’ve got Peter (Woody Norman), a bullied loner who hears issues he shouldn’t and whose Halloween is ruined by two disconcerting mother and father, Carol (Lizzy Caplan) and Mark (Antony Starr). There’s additionally a caring trainer named Miss Devine (Cleopatra Coleman) who worries extra about Peter’s wellbeing than his mother and father, after which there’s the otherworldly voice within the wall, whose character is a shock I gained’t spoil. Regardless of its supernatural creepiness, and sure, spiders, Bodin and author Chris Thomas Devlin (who beforehand wrote the 2022 remake of “The Texas Chainsaw Bloodbath”) have the skeletons of a horror film, however not one which feels fleshed out.
“Cobweb” is riddled with misdirection—issues are thrown into the story however by no means actually quantity to something. For example, there’s the thriller of a lacking trick-or-treater that Carol and Mark inform Peter is the rationale he’s not allowed to take pleasure in Halloween, and whereas it comes up a couple of times, as soon as that thriller is solved, it simply sort of fizzles out. Bullies torture Peter, however nobody actually addresses them till Peter reacts violently, then they disappear once more till the top for one (once more, predictable) climactic showdown. In one of many funnier misfires, Miss Devine visits Carol and Mark to ask about Peter and notices Mark has a gaping slash down his forearm. “You’re bleeding,” she tells him. “I’m simply performing some reworking,” Mark responds smugly. “Unfastened nail. Don’t fear about it.” And similar to that, the topic is dropped. He wipes a not-insignificant quantity of blood off his arm and questions her. What was the aim of the scene? To ascertain one thing’s off with Mark? That’s telegraphed in lots of different moments. Was it simply one other bizarre, stilted alternate to threaten Miss Devine (what a reputation) off of discovering out what’s taking place to Peter? The scene is simply one other off-beat second in a film that feels off-tempo.
“Scooby Doo, The place Are You?” episodes had extra suspense than “Cobweb” sustains whereas getting its solutions. It is such a boring expertise, I watched the film twice within the hopes that possibly I missed one thing. I didn’t. I simply watched a boring film twice. Starr and Caplan have some enjoyable performing out erratically, and Norman (who charmed audiences in “C’mon C’mon”) performs the a part of poor haunted Peter nicely sufficient to earn viewers’ sympathy. However this isn’t sufficient to affect “Cobweb” again to life. Coleman doesn’t get a lot likelihood to shine in her restricted position, however a lot of the digital camera time is spent on Peter, typically alone or alone in his ideas as his mother and father yell at him for one purpose or one other. For all of the “Shining”-like dolly photographs, typically incomprehensible darkish cinematography, and the scarier “Coraline”-like emotions that possibly your mother and father should not who they appear, “Cobweb” is a dud finest dusted away.
Now enjoying in theaters.
